REVOLUTIONARY PARENTING
BOOK SUMMARY & KEY TAKE-AWAYS
The goal of our parenting is to raise children who make their faith in God and relationship with Him, their highest priority in life AND proceed to live as intentional and devoted servants of God.
Chapter 1 & 2
The role of parents is to guide the child to understand the principles and outcomes that honor God and advance His purposes.
Spiritual Champions – individuals who have embraced Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord; accept the Bible as truth and as the guide for life; and seek to live in obedience to its principles and in search of ways to continually deepen their relationship with God.
· They live in ways that are noticeably different from the norm.
· They possess a Biblical worldview.
· Believe that moral absolutes
· Believe that they have been created by God to serve Him in specific ways.
· Acknowledge the continual spiritual war between God and Satan that can influence their choices.
· Believe that their lives should reflect the character of God.
· They donate generous amounts of time and money to spiritually driven causes.
· They carefully screen the media that they ingest and have a deep and intense commitment to their relationship with God and other Christians.
· Strive to change the world on a daily basis in small, but life-impacting ways, whether it is done through feeding the hungry, counseling the bereaved, encouraging the confused or other means.
Key Research Assumptions:
1. It is important to raise children to know, love and serve God with all of their hearts, minds, strength and souls.
2. Parents do not have complete control of the shaping of their children, but they do have substantial influence on who the children become.
3. There are some common factors that are pertinent to child-rearing efforts of parents who successfully raise children to become SC.
Barna interviewed thousands of revolutionaries in their twenties AND then spoke to their parents.
“The most unnerving reality is that even when a parent does everything ‘right’, there is no guarantee that the result will be an adult who honors God with all his or her heart, mind, strength and soul.”
The Conditions:
Great parents are great coaches.
Great coaches start with a clear notion of the outcomes they want their protégés to achieve and view them through that lens.
Great coaches do the following:
1. Your impact on is proportional to the depth of the relationship you have fostered with them.
a. You build trust by showing them unconditional love, complete integrity and total commitment to the ways of God and their best interests.
b. There is no substitute for a huge investment in time.
2. You must own the outcomes that you wish to impart. Walk the walk and talk the talk.
3. You must have a detailed vision of the outcome that you wish to achieve and a plan to reach the destination.
4. Impact is derived by coaching in the moment. Your efforts must take place in a teachable moments that are timely.
5. Great coaches are great communicators. Tellling people what they need to know AND closely observing behavior thereafter.
Family Conditions:
1. The smaller the family size, the more like to raise a SC.
2. Birth order – the first born is most likely to be the SC.
3. Socioeconomic conditions have no correlation.
4. Married couples produced SC. Few instances where a single parent raised a SC.
5. Parents that raised SC embraced parenting as their primary job in life.
Chapter 3
Parenting is job one.
1. Parents realized that they would be out of the norm.
2. Families would typically be single income families.
3. Schedule much greater amounts of time with their child each day.
4. Intentionally identify their children as their main earthly focus.
5. Made the priority based upon the Christian faith as their pivot point in all of their decisions.
Adult SC stated that it was extensive time spent studying the Bible as a family that made the greatest difference in their emergence as dedicated followers of Christ and advocates of the scripture.
The parent’s faith in God is very real and central. It must be continually maturing. That faith is perceived as the most valuable asset they can transfer to their children.
Raising a SC requires developing and sustaining an authentic relationship with the child based upon love and trust.
Chapter 4
Planning for Spiritual Champions.
Start when the children are very young (around age 5)
73% of the parents of SC set developed and pursued goals.
· A clear set of values and objectives that define success.
· There are no “one size fits all” approach.
· Don’t worry too much about how other parents judge your decisions.
· Don’t push your children to grow up too quickly.
· Focus on Character
Honesty, kindness, responsibility, mercy, patience, etc. (Page 47)
A stable, safe home environment is essential. It was predictable for the children. Parents verbalized the conditions that would remain stable – marriage, household rules, moral expectations, financial priorities, etc.
Parents kept their promises.
Parents followed through on their expectations of consistency of behavior (enforced rules consistently and fairly).
You’re not to be your child’s best friend, only his or her best parent.
Parents are extremely busy – don’t lose sight of the big picture with daily interruptions and distractions.
Parents espoused a worldview / philosophy of life / belief structure that was soothing for the children.
Parents took the responsibility for spiritual leadership and did not expect the church to take the lead.
Chapter 5
The Rules
“Great parenting is the art of providing sufficient education and experience so that children are willing and capable of making appropriate choices without having to go toe to toe with their parents on every issue, under all circumstances.”
Set house rules (12 provided – page 65 & 66)
The top answer that SC stated that the most common mistake of American parents – failing to identify and enforce a schedule of rules.
Empower your children to adopt your morals and values.
Enforce a curfew.
Influence their choice of friends.
Establish media limits
Chapter 6
Behavior of Revolutionary Parents
Act like the leader. Declaring verbally who was in charge and earning the respect of subordinates.
Takes responsibility for decisions made.
Need to control / contain their anger and frustration. Nationwide studies among young people pointed to verbal abuse as one of the most serious mistakes made by parents.
9 out of 10 Revolutionary parents stated that patience was a necessity in successful parenting.
The second highest ranked mistake by parents is failing to spend enough time with their children.
Explain the rationale for decisions and actions. The moral reason why.
Parents have an open door – open ear policy. Listening to the heart. It is the most vital aspect of effective communication and serves as a window into the mind and heart of the child.
A nonnegotiable factor imbedded within parenting behavior was the insistence of faith in God and obedience to Biblical principles as the driving force behind the household culture and their parenting practices.
Be consistent!
Chapter 7
Revolutionary Faith
RP integrate faith into every dimension of their life.
The Bible is the foundation and guidebook to all decisions.
RP taught their kids that absolute moral truth exists.
Love is a compelling draw for the gospel
RP dominant goal was not to get their child saved. Everyone one of these parents considered the salvation of their kids to be of paramount importance, but most opted for a lifelong emphasis upon discipleship.
Develop a service mind set / a habit of serving.
Pray regularly, openly and faithfully.
Chapter 8
Training up Spiritual Champions
Teach independent thought and critical, logical thinking.
Question things – However, some things are not to be questioned.
Teach the fundamentals of the faith (page 122-124). Develop Bible Study, Prayer & Worship skills.
Explore different faiths – point out similarities and differences.
Chapter 9
Revolutionary Parenting Rules
Children are a gift from God. Enjoy the gift.
Remember that Children are made in God’s image, not your own – keep this in mind.
Foster a desire to do what is right in “God’s eyes.” We have an audience of One.
My home should be a safe place for our kids – a positive & nurturing environment. Be firm, but gentle with children.
Be deliberate about advancing their relationship with the Lord..